Nov3 Written by:MarginPressAdmin
11/3/2008 12:55 PM
While cleaning the swimming pool yesterday I half-remembered something I had come across on a tabloid site during the course of last week.
Assuming for a moment that anything written in the tabloids can be trusted, I learned that the soon to be divorced Guy Ritchie has halted plans for the pool at the home he shared with soon to be ex-wife Madonna (I wish she’d chosen another name) to be emptied and filled with ‘Kabbalah water’. I treat my pool with granular chlorine only. I know it’s correctly balanced when my dogs drink from it despite having other water available or I don’t have a faint smell of pool chemicals on my skin when I get out. How does one balance a pool a pool filled with Kabbalah water? Add another ‘blessing’ maybe when you start seeing algae? Would the kiddies be allowed in? We all know after all that any swimming pool with children added soon gets diluted with urine. What sort of possible benefit could be had from filling a pool with something that had been the through the motions of being blessed? My evangelical Christian mates tell me that normal pool water is fine for their brand of full immersion adult baptisms although I’m sure they net off the layer of small insects and leaves first after they’ve removed all of the floating neon plastic dolphins and so on. My pool loses about five centimetres of water (I could work out what this is in litres but don’t feel like it) every summer month. If I had Kabbalah water, could I top it up from a normal tap? Would I feel even better after a nice swim?
Kabbalah water reminds me a bit of ‘Miracle Wheat’. What’s Miracle Wheat? The next time someone is trying to sell you a copy of The Watchtower, ask them. Chances are that they won’t have the foggiest. Charles Russell, the founder of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, tried to once sell Miracle Wheat to his followers. There wasn’t much ‘miracle’ about it – if you don’t count the fact that some people fell for it. No doubt he needed the money from the proceeds for his expensive divorce trial where his dirty laundry provided a lot of entertainment to the general population who, in terms of his calculations, wouldn’t exist past 1914.
I think I’ll be sticking to the usual water and wheat. The Kabbalah Centre (where Madonna was convinced that a group - whose claim to mythical Judaism is about as strong as that of the Woody Allen Fan Club - has some sort of meaningful message) sounds, well, un-kosher. The same tabloid article I read, and again I’m not claiming it necessarily has any bearing on the truth, also stated that Madonna is convinced that she is part of some plan to ‘save’ the world – despite the counterclaims of a number of more acclaimed Israeli and other rabbis who (to put it politely), question this novel take on Judaism. Has anyone canvassed the Israeli government (as if they didn’t have enough on their plate already!) to ask them what they think about assertions from this water-flogging cult that the Jewish state is practicing it’s religious heritage wrong? I bet, that like me, they won’t any part of this flim-flam ‘salvation’ anymore than Guy Ritchie could probably be convinced to take part in it!
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